The Butt Factor!

Obama is our President. We voted for him. Well maybe YOU didn’t, but I sure did! Maybe if you didn’t root for Obama you forgot to consider the all important, easily missed “butt factor”.

I cast my vote this election solely on the “butt factor” and nothing else.
WHAT? You think this is pathetic you rant? I took my voting privilege seriously with honor and confidence. The best butt won people! Hands down! Call me shallow Nellie if you like, but the butt don’t lie brotha! Not in politics anyway.

Yeah yeah yeah I listened to ole Hillary and the Big O banter back and forth for several debates and then sat through numerous McCain VS Obama ones. Read scores of literature, who done what, who wants to do what and who don’t want no part of what!

Health care
War scare
NATO and trust
Oil
Education
Iraq or bust

I drank it ALL in, soaked it all up, commercials, bashings, debacles and billboards trying to convince me of WHO was best for the job. At some point and I can’t pinpoint WHEN I got my fill! Can a single person possible say the SAME thing 100 different ways in ONE sitting? Or contradict themselves 100 different times in ONE sitting? I couldn’t take it!

CLICK!
I just clicked the volume to mute and looked to the butt.

I must give ole Hillary credit – she pulled off those pant suites with ease bringing a hint of classiness but an overflowing bottomless cup of boredom. She didn’t PRESENT the possible future Presidents butt like she could have and the light blues and golden hues didn’t help her cause. It was like a nice bum gone bad and must compliment where one is due: Hill has a NICE bum.(just couldn’t pull off the presentation) She should have gone with bright red, maybe a pair of hot jeans and possibly even peach pinstripes, but noooo – drab, drab, yawn, plain SLACKS. She was the Senator of NY for the love of god – can anyone say fashion mecca?!?!?! She was entirely over conservative in the butt department as far as I am concerned.

BAMMMMMM look at this butt!!! Look at it! Nope, sorry Hillary.

Then we have McCain. Where shall I start? First of all, you couldn’t even SEE the whole Presidential hopefuls butt cause McCain cloaked it with his oversized Herman Munster sport coats. When we did get a butt glimpse, he had it clenched tight, like something was paining him. I began to grow concern for whatever could be ailing his ass or considered this was possibly something common to Arizonians. Colors? Did he think all the world was colorblind? Grey, blue, medium blue, grayish blue, chargoal grey and charcoal.

If I were his mother, I would surely scream him BACK into the house yelling “John Sidney McCain, get your grey pants wearin, butt tucked ass in this house and change!” Stacy London and Clinton Kelly agree with me on this one: Less cover, better color and no clench.

The 3 C’s of his Presidential demise:
Cover
Color
Clench

Drum roll please! ! !

Our man of the hour, Barack Obama! Excuse me, shall I say, President Barack Obama.

Did he pull it off or what? I mean in the butt department. Perfectly tailored trousers, some with pleats, some with flat front for accentuation, great colors, from eggplant purplish burgundy to green and all the in between! This boy even threw down with plaid shorts that taunted “I can make this butt WORK for you”.(this is what I heard, in my ears) Jacket removed for a full butt peakaboo display, slung over his should draping down his back as if an arrow pointing to “the goods”. He showed, he presented, and he represented that Hawaiian born butt like NO other! He would shake hands with his rivals and spin to one side allowing a quick flash of his money maker, leaving us wanting to see more! Wait for it…wait for it.

WE DO GET TO SEE MORE ALL RIGHT! 4 YEARS MORE!

No ya’ll may call me shallow minded and are free to your opinion. I stand on my vote and challenge anyone to a good butt elect debate. I may even be making MORE of my life affecting decisions based on da butt!

So, if you see me lookin - PRESENT IT! I could be making a very important decision or I could just be lookin at your butt.